We Could Have Had It All
by Cheeky Slytherin Lass
Summary: Druella tries to have the best of a both worlds: a family, even if she doesn't love her husband, and Abraxas, even if she cannot be with him except in private.


_Quidditch League, Round 10_

 _Falmouth Falcons, Captain_

 _Prompt: Write about a character having an affair_

 _Hogwarts Assignment 5, Beauty Therapy, task 1: Write about noticing someone's perfume_

 _Character Appreciation: a reunion_

 _Dark Lady's Lair: pure-blood traditions_

 _Lyric Alley: "You've got a feeling, or at least you can pretend."_

 _Lowdown, Zuko, honor_

 _Insane House Challenge: a wedding_

 _365: jade_

 _Word: 1898_

* * *

I.

Druella takes a moment to stand before the mirror and admire her reflection. The jade-green dress clings to her subtle curves, and she smiles as she runs her fingers lightly over the fine fabric.

"I only hope I don't steal all the attention from the bride," she muses, twisting her body this way and that, taking delight in the way the dress caresses her legs with each movement.

Cygnus appears beside her, adjusting his cufflinks. His dark eyes narrow as he sniffs the air. "Is that a new perfume?" he asks.

"It is," she says, looking up at her husband with a bright smile. "Do you like it?"

Cygnus scowls. "It makes you smell like a common whore."

Druella forces her gaze ahead, pointedly keeping her focus on her reflection. She gently touches her elegantly braided, blonde hair, careful not to mess it up. "And how do you know what a common whore smells like, dear husband?" she asks, brows raising.

It's the wrong thing to say. Quick as a flash, Cygnus lunges forward, gripping her arm roughly and shaking her.

"You're lucky I don't want to be late for my sister's wedding," he growls. "Otherwise I would teach you some manners."

Druella swallows dryly, her heart racing. She has seen her husband's temper before, and she never wants to see it again. "Let me tell Bella and Andi goodnight," she says, her voice small and pitiful.

She hates the way he reduces her to little more than a coward. Though she is a Black by marriage, she is still a Rosier by blood, and Rosiers are meant to be proud and strong. Cygnus has taken that from her; he has stripped away her identity and shaped her into a meek little housewife without a voice.

"Why would you do that?" he asks as he releases her arm and smooths out his dark hair. "That's why we have servants."

Druella forces her painted lips into a smile. "Of course."

She tries not to notice the angry red splotches juxtaposed against her pale skin, but there's no denying the finger-shaped marks on her arm. Without a word of protest, she draws her wand. " _Accio_ shawl."

…

Druella stands with her back against the wall, bright eyes watching the celebration from a distance. Walburga looks so happy as Orion leads her in their first dance as husband and wife. Jealousy twists Druella's insides. She can't remember ever smiling like that with Cygnus.

"You know, you wore that same perfume when we were at Hogwarts."

Startled by the unexpected voice, Druella turns. Her lips quirk into a faint smile. "Hello, Abraxas," she says.

Abraxas offers her a quick, polite bow before moving closer, though he keeps a careful distance.

"I always loved your perfume," he continues. "Bought Acanthia a bottle, but she doesn't like vanilla, it seems."

"Pity."

For several moments, they are quiet. Druella watches as Walburga and Orion share a second dance; more people join them on the dance floor now, waltzing to the gentle music. She can't quite focus on the scene before her. There's something about Abraxas being so close to her that drives her wild.

It should have been Abraxas. He had tried to win her hand, but Cygnus had gotten to her first. Unfair as it is, she has always accepted it as a pure-blood tradition that must be followed. Marriages are about maintaining a family's honor, not about happiness.

"Surely Cygnus did not allow you to come here unaccompanied," Abraxas says at last, breaking the silence.

"He had to speak with Sterling Nott about something at the Ministry," Druella says.

She doesn't mention that her husband had left her side shortly after the wedding had ended, or that Cygnus will undoubtedly spend the evening avoiding her. He is too important to be burdened by his wife in public.

"Acanthia isn't with you?" she asks.

Abraxas shakes his head. "She's hardly in any condition to be out and about. The midwife thinks she'll give birth before next weekend."

Druella swallows dryly. Why should his words feel like a slap in the face? The dalliance they had shared in their youth is a thing of the past. She has her own family and he has his.

And yet, it hurts like hell.

"It should have been you," he says quietly. "We should have had a life together."

She blinks rapidly, refusing to give in to the tears that sting her eyes. "I know."

"We could still have it."

Her gaze shifts to him, brows raised. Abraxas offers her a crooked grin before pushing his hand through his long, white-blond hair and smoothing it out. There's a promise of mischief and bliss in his eyes, and Druella doesn't want to ever look away.

"We really can't," she whispers.

His icy blue eyes narrow slightly, brows knitting together as he studies her. "You've changed," he says with a shrug. "You used to look at the impossible and call it a challenge."

"I grew up."

Abraxas moves closer, his fingers barely touching her wrist. It's the faintest caress, but it's enough to make her heart flutter wildly within her chest. "Don't grow up," he says softly. "I always loved the way you would dream."

She knows she should walk away. Even if she doesn't love Cygnus, he is still her husband, and she has a duty to fulfil. Somehow, it doesn't matter; when Abraxas looks at her like this, he is all she wants.

"How?" she asks, her voice so quiet that it's barely audible.

"We can run away for a little while."

II.

"Where are you going?" Cygnus asks.

Druella offers him her sweetest smile, hoping he will not see through her. "Acanthia Malfoy is set to give birth soon," she says. "Abraxas asked if I would speak to her and reassure her about the childbirth process."

Her husband's thin lips purse as he steps forward. Druella lets out a soft whimper, her heart racing. She instinctively moves back, growing tense.

Cygnus sniffs the air. "You still smell like a whore," he says. "Why Abraxas would want you around his wife is a mystery. You'll make her vomit the baby up."

"Can I leave now?" She wants to back away more, but he has her against the wall, and she is so afraid she will feel his displeasure. "Acanthia is expecting me."

He lingers there for several moments longer, dark eyes moving over her body. Finally, he steps back, gesturing her along. "Be sure to throw that bloody perfume out when you get back."

With his permission, she hurries from their bedroom. Each step she takes brings her closer to the man she loves, and relief slowly washes over her. When she is with Abraxas, she will be safe.

…

It has been far too long since Cygnus has touched her with anything that even vaguely resembles passion. Abraxas, however, pulls her into his arms, holding her close and kissing her fiercely. "I was afraid you might not come," he whispers, his fingers brushing through her blonde hair.

"Cygnus…" Druella shakes her head. Telling him about her husband's temper and her failing marriage will accomplish nothing; if anything, it will ruin the beautiful moment between them. "Actually, it's not important."

He smiles, and she feels the last of her restraint slip. Within moments, it feels as though they are fifteen again and sneaking off to the Astronomy Tower in the middle of the night, so young and in love. Nothing else seems to matter as his hands move over her body. Her husband, her family, her duty, all seem so silly, so laughable now.

"You're beautiful, Druella," he whispers against her neck. "You've always been so beautiful."

His soft words seem to flood her veins, filling her with desire. Druella shivers as he kisses a trail up her neck, along her jaw, and to her lips. "Are you sure about this?" he asks.

She considers. If anyone finds out, she has more to lose than he does. Men are known for their affairs, but women are meant to be faithful to their husbands. Druella could be left scandalized, and disgraced. Though Cygnus would not leave her—he would undoubtedly be tempted, but divorces are more shameful than infidelity—his anger would only grow, and Druella would be subjected to more cruelty and neglect.

This is such a great risk. Is one man worth losing everything? Druella knows he isn't, but the temptation is too strong. How can she resist him?

"I love you," she says quietly, and the world feels so right when he guides her to the bed, whispering that he loves her more.

III.

It's easy to fall in love with Abraxas. For months, Druella sneaks away, careful not to let her husband find out where she is really going. Cygnus never questions it. Druella wonders if he is happier without her, if he notices her absences at all.

Somehow, she manages to have the best of both worlds. She has the man she's loved since her youth, and she hasn't had to sacrifice her family for it.

For a while, she believes she can live her best life and be free. In the end, however, everything falls apart.

…

"Druella, my love," Abraxas says, smiling brightly when they meet in their usual hotel room. He stops short, outstretched arms dropping to his sides when he seems to notice the expression on her face. "Has something happened?"

Druella swallows. It isn't fair. Still, she knows what she has to do, even if it kills her inside. "We cannot do this anymore, Abraxas," she says, and she is amazed that her voice doesn't quiver.

"Dru…" He reaches out for her, but Druella takes a step back. "Is it Cygnus? Has he hurt you?"

"I'm pregnant."

She had planned for Andromeda to be her last child. Even as Cygnus had raged and demanded she give him an heir, Druella had decided that two children are more than enough. Now, there is a third life growing inside of her, and she cannot bring herself to terminate it.

"Is it…" Abraxas scrubs his hand over the back of his neck. Several seconds pass in silence as he seems to fumble for the words to say. "Is the baby mine?"

Her mouth suddenly grows dry, and tears swim in her eyes. Druella takes a deep breath and blinks the tears away. She refuses to show weakness now.

"Cygnus," she answers, forcing a smile.

It's a lie, of course. She can't remember the last time her husband has even kissed her. Still, Abraxas doesn't need to know that. If he knows the truth—that this baby is his, that she will always have a part of him—it could ruin everything. The truth could come out, and she would be left with nothing.

"Congratulations, I suppose," Abraxas says with a smile that looks too pained to be genuine. "Maybe it will be a boy, and Lucius will have a companion."

There's so much that Druella wants to say, but she can't make the words come out. They stick in the back of her throat, and she struggles not to choke on them. "Goodbye, Abraxas."

As she turns her back on him and walks away, the tears finally begin to fall. Try as she might, she can't shake the feeling that she's leaving her future behind.


End file.
